I’ve been fighting a fever and headaches on and off for the last two weeks. With over 100 hours of laying flat on my back, I’ve had a lot of time to think. By having my health taken from me, and forced down time, I started to evaluate some fundamentals in my life. The core of all my thoughts came down to this one question – what is the purpose of my life?
After evaluation, I realized that I rarely get to the end of the day without having done a lot and being totally exhausted from it. My days are packed with tasks, meetings, phone calls, emails, and actions; but I have to ask if there is purpose behind it all. Sadly, I think I use “Ministry” as a cop-out to give some kind of meaning to everything I do, but I’ve realized more time is wasted then I would like to admit.
Another way to evaluate my purpose is to ask, “What am I seeking?”
Christ said, “Seek first my Kingdom and righteousness and all else will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)
Do I seek first God and His kingdom?
Today I asked my wife, “Babe, what do I seek first in my life?” I was scared of the answer, but I wanted to hear it anyway.
She replied, “Ministry.”
No explanation was needed. I knew what she meant because I had already thought the same thing. I seek good ministry to people and for people – making a good church service, preaching a good sermon, making sure people are happy about the programs, websites, and all the other hoopla that comes with church. And when there is a break in the church circus, I give my time toward speaking and writing.
While all of this is great stuff for God, it is not God.
I am supposed to love the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength… FIRST. Yet for some reason I settle with seeking many other things (even good gifts from God) before I seek to just have more of Him.
Sure, I could now outline a lot of things that need to change. Or I could write a “Checklist for Keeping Christ Center…” but I know all of that would fail if the principle is not first planted within my heart. I must desire to seek Him first, and if the desire is lacking then I need to start there as ask God to rework my mind and emotions.
After lots of deep though while lying in bed, I decided to break the mind-cyclone by watching a sermon. I watched Andy Stanley’s sermon on Time, which was on this exact topic (Ironic or God’s Sovereignty?). In this sermon he said, “Priority determines capacity.” This is exactly what I needed to hear to understand that having God first doesn’t mean less done for Him, but allows for my capacity (for ministry or life) to be set by Him.
What do you seek first? How can you ensure God is the one you strive for above all things?
