Though it is not something I am proud of, I have to admit that the last few days have been some of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. The number of sermons yet to be prepared and preached were overwhelming to me. I was burdened by the responsibilities of the church. The shambles my personal life seemed to be in added to the pain. I was just trying to hold together the fragments of my fragile life, yet all the mental game efforts seemed pointless. The weight of the world felt as if it was there on top of me in my bed and there was nothing I could do to get out from under it… yet alone get up and start the day.
As I lay there in a self-induced coma – somewhere in between awake and unconscious – I thought, “could I be depressed?”
I do understand the severity of depression that some people can face, and I knew I was far from that. But I still couldn’t help but wonder if the last few weeks of a downcast soul had culminated in a (slightly) depressed state that required more help than I could give myself.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Medicine wasn’t an option. I just knew something had to be done and it had to be something outside of my own self-talk or optimism. It was then that I turned to the Bible for comfort. As always, the Holy Spirit combined with the power of the written Word and my soul found its rest in the clef of our Savior’s hand. Here are the passages I found:
Psalm 42:5 – 7
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls;
All your breakers and your waves have gone over me.
The Lord is good,
a stronghold in the day of trouble;
he knows those who take refuge in him.
Joel 2:12 – 13
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; render your hearts and not your garments.”
Return to the Lord, your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
So, I pray you too will get through those gloomy days and seek Christ our comforter with your whole heart.