I once heard a person say this: “I write so that I can experience life twice.”

Courtesy of Simon Howden
Courtesy of Simon Howden

At first I loved this quote. The thought of experiencing this blessed life twice by capturing it on paper was exhilarating. To recall sweet memories, feelings and the faces of those you love is always a wonderful exercise.

But then there are those days that you don’t want to remember; days in our lives that are better only lived through once. There have been those days in my life I’d rather not recall.

Sometimes my journal’s pages ache before my pen even crosses them. There are often experiences in our lives that cause us to want to hide and sulk rather than expose and rejoice. For some reason we not only have to live through them, but carry the memories of them for lifetime. No matter how hard I may try to suppress the hard-to-swallow times of life they still bubble up when least expected. I have times where the pains of days past lash out like a lion pouncing from the brush onto it’s prey. Even in my busiest moments of the day a small thing will trigger my mind to remember the pain of yesterdays gone by.

Yet I suppose in all of this, there is still a necessity to write out life to live it again. This writing allows me to pack away what needs to be left behind or recalling the savory of this live that should never be forgotten.

Either way I will enjoy a lifetime of contemplation and the exercise of trusting my God:

God is our Refuge and strength,

a very present help in times of trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

Though the mountains may be moved into the heart of the sea,

Though its waters roar and foam,

Though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

Selah.

Psalm 46:1-3

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