I KNEW EXACTLY HOW SHE FELT.
I was sitting in the chapel service at my college as another student was on stage sharing with the student body. “I sat in the hall and cried,” she timidly stated. “The other students just stepped around me. I felt so alone. I was there with my head between my knees; my tears flooded my soul because I was not sure if God really did exist. I felt as if I was the only one who doubted.”
I wanted to stand up in my seat and tell her that I had been there. I too at times have questioned God. Tears have flooded my soul also as I wanted to believe, but I was paralyzed by doubt. Often in the midst of trying to find God, in order to provide certainty that He is ever present, I open the Bible and search for the proof.
One day in my searching I found a story that helped me realize that there was at least one other person that felt the same way I did.
“I believe, help my unbelief”
The story takes place after Jesus went to the top of a mountain with three of His followers. As they came to the bottom of the mountain they saw Jesus’ other followers there arguing with some of the religious leaders. As Jesus was trying to figure out what was going on a man fell at His feet. In a strained voice, he explained that he had come to see if Jesus could heal his only son. His son was demon possessed and no one, not even Jesus’ closest followers could get the demon to flee.
I’m sure that you could have cut the tension in the air with a knife. The aroma of the crowd was unbelief. They gathered around because they did not think that even Jesus could cure the boy. Probably shaking His head a bit, Jesus replied, “O unbelieving generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” Jesus knew that they stood in deep unbelief. He called them the “unbelieving generation.” If they were an unbelieving generation and they stood in the very presence of Jesus, then I am scared to think what Jesus would call us today.
The marvelous thing is that Jesus knew their unbelief, and he knows ours and does not leave us stranded there. As Jesus and the father stood in front of the boy, he flopped on the ground in convulsions. The father plead with Jesus to do something. Jesus stated it clearly—“Everything is possible for Him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father, with hopeful tears in his eyes, cried, “I do believe; help me over come my unbelief.” (Mark 9:23 NIV)
That day, after one girl’s honesty in chapel, and the recounting of this story in scripture, I couldn’t help but fall to my knees and cry, “God, I do believe – please help my unbelief!”
Needless to say, that day and every day He answers my prayer.
