We were standing in the lobby of the gym as I gave excuse after excuse why working out is so hard for me. Finally, my sister (who is also a personal trainer) said, “It is not a sin to care for yourself, Pastor Josh.”
I’ll admit – I am much more inclined to help other people, before helping myself. But before you begin to think that is admirable, let me correct you… truth be told, I will often care for others out of our avoidance for caring for myself. I love to help people, there is no doubt about that, but I will often care for people at my own detriment. I will miss eating, working out, soul care, or just relaxing if it means that I can help someone else.
This is all fine and dandy, as long as I never burn out, have a bad day, get sick or die.
So while my sister was being a bit facetious to say, “It is not a sin to care for yourself,” she hit me right where it hurt. I sometime treat my own care a selfish or a guilt-ridden act that is to be avoided and replaced with care for others.
I know that I am not alone in this; I’ve had more than a few pastor friends leave the ministry (already) because they got burned out or burned their wife out. I’ve had at least two friends loose their family over their love for the ministry. I’ve met countless overweight or extremely unhealthy pastors because they spend more time telling everyone else how to get in shape, rather than first ensuring that they were healthy from the inside out.
Here is how I’m digging out: I observed that I never miss a meeting that is on my calendar, nor do I let something interrupt it. Therefore, if my calendar has that kind of pull in my life, I will leverage it by scheduling my priorities. Just like I set meetings with people, I now schedule meetings with myself.
I’ve set meeting to workout, work on my furthering education, read for an hour, or just go for a walk and pray. By actually having these on my calendar, I am finding that I am less likely to miss them. It is easier to say “No” to someone or something if they ask for time by simply replying, sorry, I actually have an appointment then, can we try another time?
Boundaries are great, if you have them, but getting them can seem like an impossible task. However, when I start by working with the systems that already work for me (like my calendar) I am more likely to have the margin I need to care for myself. I am sure you know this, but if we care for ourselves first, we’ll be much more help to those God has entrusted us to care for in our ministries.
