The world’s ways of dating, “hooking up” and romantic involvement are much different from the Bible’s view on love, sex an romance.
In the world’s eyes it is fine to date around as much as you want, to sexually experiment, or to throw away commitment and ‘move on’ when it just doesn’t feel right anymore. I just don’t buy it. Love has to be deeper that what we see on the bachelor, Bachelorette or sitcoms. Our deepest desire is to dive into the deep end of love, and not wade around in the shallow end of infatuation for the rest of my life.
I remember when I was just a freshman in high school that Christian views of dating where set ablaze when Josh Harris wrote a book called “I kiss dating Goodbye.” Everyone seemed to be talking about it…
“Is it right to date?”
“Should you do the courtship thing?”
“What in the world is the courtship thing?”
Over a decade later Harris’ book is still a year-to-year best seller. Christians are still trying to find God’s will for dating. New books come out each year in Christian publishing such as, Five Paths to the love of your life: defining your dating style. People want to know God’s plan for their love life.
I’m not about to tell you that I know the best way to go about meeting your perfect mate. But before you even begin dating there are a few things that you must recognize as essentials for a God-glorifying relationship.
First off, is the person you are going to date a woman of character? It is important that you don’t just dive into dating a person because you are attracted to their outside appearance. Yes, attraction is important but it has to be deeper than skin deep. When we observe the person in setting with friends or with their family, do they show godly character? Another way to check them out is to find out what do others say about him\her?
Ask their friends or others that may know then better than you do what they’re like, and ensure that they are more than just a pretty face but a person with Christ-focused heart.
Second, make sure that the person would complement you, your gifts, passions and morals. Ask others what they would think about you two dating… take to heart their advice. Sometimes a person that is not caught up in the emotions of attraction can have a more level head.
Third, ask yourself: If I date this girl or guy, are we going to move each other closer to the cross? What I mean is, are we going to be able to grow spiritually or will our romantic relationship become a black hole for us to fall into hindering us from growing closer to Christ. Don’t just answer yes, think through specific things that you two will do to hold each other accountable to furthering your relationship with God.
Finally, make a pact with yourself to always respect the other person. If you are a guy, treat her like a lady, treat her like the daughter of God that she is. Respect her in front of others, open doors for her and don’t touch her wrongly. Girls, same for you, don’t put him down but choose to build him up. Support him and give him a chance to show you that he can be the knight in shining armor that you desire him to be.
In the end, you must resolve to do dating differently. Don’t fall to the world’s standards. marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to mankind and dating is the prelude that wonderful story. After I grow old with my wife, I hope that my story will not only read, “and they lived happily ever after,” but from the very beginning my wife and I “live happily ever after glorifying God…”
