In the heat of the summer night, Carrie stood in line to get in. Her hair was all done up. Her make-up was perfect. Her cloths were in style and probably the type that her dad did not want her to go out of the house wearing. Every guy gave her a glance. That was just what she wanted. As she entered into the doors it was if the music was just for her.
The place was packed. The music moved her, or she moved the music, either way it seem that this was her night. Every guy around was waiting for the chance to move with her. Her face shown that there was no greater felling, but inside she was not free. It was not long until her and a friend went to the bathroom to talk about all that was going on, the guys that they had danced with, or the drinks that had drank.
This was only beginning. In their minds it was time to enhance the experience. Popping the little white pills into their mouth and taking a sip of water from the sink, it was only moments before it kicked. This already out of control night suddenly became more tainted.
This was only one of many nights like this for Carrie. Not all had been spent at the club. Some at the party of a friend when the parents were away. Other nights in a parking lot in a car with steamed windows and some guy she had know not more than a day. The world’s opportunities for pleasure were coming to fast. It was now or never. There was no time to stop and think about what life was like, or what was going on around her. No time to feel what she really felt.
There was always the hidden fear that if she did stop and think, the pain would be too much to bear.
She was just a girl on the road of life. She wanted to have fun, and be carefree. She wanted to indulge into the things that this world had to offer—at least, if you asked her that is what she would say. The truth is that she was in search of something, any thing to fill a void. She went to the raves, never missed a part and was with every guy that wanted her. She always enjoyed that night, but it was the next morning that she hated.
It was only a matter of time before one of these nights that seemed to bring pleasure, ended in pain. That night found her, and not at all to soon. The setting was simple. Just a house. Lots of alcohol. Low lights and loud music. She had drank…a lot. And on top of that she took something else, but was too dazed to remember what. Perhaps she smoked something or popped some pills. Whatever it seemed right at the time. It was not long before she was gone, no longer in control. She was not even mentally there. No one around sober enough to help. And not able to even remember where she was and how she got there she found herself naked and taken advantage. He body throbbed in pain from her pounding chest and the contortions she was forced into.
Now knocking on the door of death. Limp and laying in helpless, she felt as if she was not going to make it much longer. She was now suffering her choices. She hated it all. The enjoyment that she thought that she was having never even existed. Death came close and tried to grasp her.
There in that unfamiliar place she cried, “lord, help!”
That was all she said. A cry for her life that only needed two words. From death she was saved. God came close to this woman in her limp and spirtually helpless state. He saved her from his distress ansd she was snatched away from the door of death.
The whole time he was there. He saw her. He cried for her. He cried because he could not help. He could not show her the love she needed until she called for Him. It was then that with out hesitation he went to her. Took her, cleaned her and tended to her. It was then, as she laid on his lap, quivering and breathless that she found the very thing that she had been looking for to fill her void. It was love. True love. Unfailing love. Great love. There she smiled a smile of praise to him, and whispered thank you. He only whispered back, “I love you.”
His love is the only thing I needed and I could comfort me during the past few weeks. I had it but took it for granted till I found myself in a place where doubt numb my sensitivity to it. My Savior, imagining life without you was excruciating.