not-fair

Dear God of Abraham, Isaac and – of all people – Jacob?

Why are you his God?
Why did you bless such a dirty rotten scoundrel?
Why did you wrestle with him instead of killing him?
Why?

You are not fair God.
You don’t move the way I would expect you to.
You don’t play by the rules.
You are not like the rest of us.

But I suppose, this is exactly the way you like it.
You are disturbed when we try to explain you by our own terms.
You are offended when we try to predict your responses.
But I don’t always think about you first. I am too selfish to do so.

You are not fair. You should have killed Jacob, but you didn’t.
You are not fair. You should have killed me, but you haven’t.

Jacob grabbed for his brother’s heal, birth right, and blessing.
He wanted nothing of you, and you brought him to a place of having nothing but you.

I have grabbed for all sorts of selfish things from those I love the most.
I’ve wanted to take what was not mine because I wanted it more than you.

Thank you for being the God of those that don’t deserve you.
Thank you for being Jacob’s God.
Thank you for being my God.
Thank you for not being fair.

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