At times it seems that the economy of heaven is upside down. We are used to a this fight-to-win-it world which declare loudly that only the weak will fail. Yet, in God’s eyes, the only way to succeed is to spend your soul at the deepest level. We are called to lose our life.
Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. – Luke 17:33
This seems backwards to us. How can it be that the closer I get to God the more broken I seem to feel?
In the allegory Hinds’ Feet for High Places, the main character is taken on a journey to the High Places, where she will one day dwell with the Chief Shepherd. At the beginning of the tale, she has a lame leg and a grotesquely disfigured face, both of which seemingly disqualify her from making the strenuous trip and living in a land of untainted beauty. Along the way, she’s given two companions, and she must go through a desert wilderness, a steep incline, and along a lonely seashore, often walking in the direction quite opposite of the High Places as she follows the Chief Shepherd.
Near the end of the book, her face begins to radiate a beauty she never imagined possible. Even her leg is feeling stronger, allowing her to depend less and less upon her companions. However, as she continues traveling, she is led into a dark forest. The ground beneath her is muddy and she begins slipping, sometimes even falling flat on her face into the filth.
The narrator states, “All along she had hoped that the higher she went and the nearer she got to the High Places, the stronger she would become and the less she would stumble, but it was quite otherwise” (Hurnand 205).
We too are on a journey, and we often assume that as we travel we will become better, stronger, eventually hopefully achieving a Christ-like perfection in this life. Do not be fooled, my friend.
We are going to struggle with some sins for the rest of our lives. This is—in part—why I think the writer of Hebrews reminds his readers not to be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. We will still sin, but we must rely on the grace of God more and more with each day.
The goal is not that we will one day be able to walk on our own. The goal is that one day you and I will realize how desperately we need to be carried.
