Practical Steps for Anger and Conflict Resolution:
- Focus on what I can do to correct it
- Strive to understand the other person’s perspective
- Encourage open discussion, allow both parties to express their feelings
- First admit that I am part of the problem
- Recognize I cannot do anything to change the other person (only Christ can)
- Unpack on my thoughts about the issue and examine them biblically
- Find out what my spouse is feeling and try to understand
- Try to understand and capture the facts on paper
- Be willing to change my behavior after comparing my actions against biblical principles
- Listen to the other person describe what they think I should change about my behavior
- Use proper words, tone of voice and body language in all I say to everyone involved
- Take time to point out the things I appreciate (even in the midst of disagreement)
- be grateful for the different perspective that other person has and try to learn from that difference
- Write down specific and repeatable and attainable ways I can better serve others in the future from what I’ve learned in this situation
- Commit to solve the root cause of the immediate conflict permanently before moving forward
(Adapted from Steve Freeburne)
Other Helpful Resources:
The Christian Counselor’s Manual, Jay Adams, Page 348-367
The Heart of Anger, Lou Priolo
