Photo Courtesy of, © yenwen, File #9443785
Photo Courtesy of, © yenwen, File #9443785

Practical Steps for Anger and Conflict Resolution:

  • Focus on what I can do to correct it
  • Strive to understand the other person’s perspective
  • Encourage open discussion, allow both parties to express their feelings
  • First admit that I am part of the problem
  • Recognize I cannot do anything to change the other person (only Christ can)
  • Unpack on my thoughts about the issue and examine them biblically
  • Find out what my spouse is feeling and try to understand
  • Try to understand and capture the facts on paper
  • Be willing to change my behavior after comparing my actions against biblical principles
  • Listen to the other person describe what they think I should change about my behavior
  • Use proper words, tone of voice and body language in all I say to everyone involved
  • Take time to point out the things I appreciate (even in the midst of disagreement)
  • be grateful for the different perspective that other person has and try to learn from that difference
  • Write down specific and repeatable and attainable ways I can better serve others in the future from what I’ve learned in this situation
  • Commit to solve the root cause of the immediate conflict permanently before moving forward

(Adapted from Steve Freeburne)

Other Helpful Resources:
The Christian Counselor’s Manual
, Jay Adams, Page 348-367
The Heart of Anger
, Lou Priolo

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