When people ask me what my favorite color is, I always say “clear.”
Why? Well, the truth is probably because I want to be somewhat comical and different. But at the same time it always gets people thinking… it gets me thinking. What is “clear,” and can it even be considered a color?
I’ve come to define the color clear as transparent, see-through, and untainted, exposing whatever is on the other side.
Imagine a person like that—vulnerable, open, and unhindered to show their true colors. I’ve met people like this, and I’ve always wanted to be that way myself.
Have you ever really been gut-wrenchingly honest with anyone? It’s not easy to say everything—to give voice to all the deep stuff inside you. You don’t know for certain anyone will even listen. You don’t know what they might think of you if you did open up. And in the end, you’re not even sure if you care what they think.
Still, there are deep thoughts in all of us that are gnawing their way out. Every once in a while we throw out these “near-clear” statements, fishing to see if others will accept or reject this spillage of our true feelings. If they don’t respond as we were hoping, we don’t offer anything else. If they agree with the little taste of transparency we show, then we are willing to show a bit more.
Come on, I know I’m not alone in this. I know we’ve all tested the waters just to see if we can let out the honest thought we’ve never dared to tell another soul. Maybe you’ve said things like, “I am not sure if I like fill in the blank”; all the while you know you strongly dislike blank but don’t want to be judged if no one else feels the same. Or we say something like, “I don’t always desire church,” or “Sometimes life is so hard I’d rather be dead,” or “I know a lot of Christians that have sex outside of marriage and God never seems to do anything about it.” All of these statements are honest thoughts or partial confessions that have a world of feelings behind them. Amazingly, when we do finally let our honest concerns out, the annoying gnawing stops and healing begins instantaneously. Initially this happens because mere relief has a healing component, but when these thoughts are correctly directed toward God, transformation larger than mere relief can occur.
Imagine that kind of relief coming from being honest…with God. Allow yourself to feel that for a moment. If you could voice your deepest, most perplexing, most straightforward questions and thoughts to God (and rest assured He won’t send you to hell because of them), what would they be?